i saw her in a dream last night,
dark hair, close
a whisper in my ear
a touch, and i was finished
i awoke to my dream
alone in a bed
somewhere
and i knew
it had to be the wine
i drove to the store
paid two dollars
and forgot.
i found her in a dream
i find her in my heart
i find her beside me
haunting, dragging
i find her in a nightmare
of this life gone wicked
i find her when she isnt found
i find her in a drawer,
in an envelope, in a bag
i find her in my bed
i find her underneath calloused fingers
i find her with no money
i find her on vast highways
wondering where the people went
i find her in boxes
i find her in hollowed books
i find her in blinding screens
with eyes gouged out
i find her in california
i find her in new york
i find her in utah
i find her in the pueblos of mexico
i find her in the canals of amsterdam
i find her in glass bottles
drained and useless
i find her in my wallet
i find her in knots of wood
i find her everywhere,
her beauty haunts me
and i am the sensitive heathen
pale and doubted
hiding in small rooms,
i need you,
i need you like a child,
helpless, and naive.